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---------------------Nanny Net News------------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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Vol. 2, No. 8
September 2001
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Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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> A Note from the Editor
> September Sweepstakes
> Communication Puzzlers
An excerpt from the book
How to Talk to Your Child
by Dorothy P. Dougherty
> Lavish Kids with Kind Words
> Ask the Experts Q & A
> A NannyClassifieds.com Success Story
> GREAT DEALS
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A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
Hello everyone,
We have a ton of exciting news and information in this month's
issue. This issue of Nanny Net News concentrates on the importance
of communication, how to assess your child or charge's development
and how to talk to them to instill feelings of confidence and security.
First, in our book of the month, How to Talk to Your Baby,
author, Dorothy Dougherty, has put together a fabulous guide to
maximizing your child's language and learning skills.
I had a hard time choosing just one excerpt because there is so much
information that every parent and childcare provider needs.
I chose the particular excerpt that I did because I found it so
personally enlightening. I am the parent of a talker, I mean a non-stop,
4 advil-a-day-for-mom kind of talker. He started at the age of one and
hasn't stopped since. His cousin, on the other hand, is approaching 2
and is just starting to communicate verbally. I say communicate "verbally"
because he has been expertly communicating without words for quite a
while now. I found that many of us, myself included, were not giving
this bright child the credit he deserved because he wasn't telling us
with words what he needed or thought. When we discovered that this
"late talker" already knew his colors we were all put to shame.
The article you are about to read should alleviate some concerns
that parents of "later" talkers may have and it should also help to
enlighten those of us who care for them.
Our second article this month is on a very important topic "verbal
abuse" and how to speak to our children with words that build self
esteem not undermine it. This is a great reminder to all the exhausted
parents and caregivers out there. Words can hurt or they can help,
it is up to us.
Finally, 4Everythingnanny has some very exciting news. Well, its exciting
to us anyway. :) In August, we became the exclusive provider of Nanny
information and resources to over 1.5 million Fortune 500 employees
through a company that provides special discounts and services via the web
to Fortune 500 companies throughout the US. We're excited about this
opportunity to reach so many busy parents and hope our site provides
the information and support they are looking for.
We are also welcoming a new expert to our panel this month who will be
addressing questions about Au Pairs. Suzan Hermanowycz has been an
au pair host mom for the over three years now and has served as my
"unofficial" expert for quite awhile. I've finally smartened up and
asked her to come on board to offer her hard earned wisdom to all of
the parents who contact me every month with questions about the Au Pair
system. To read Suz's bio and see her cute mug, go here:
http://www.4everythingnanny.com/experts.htm
That's it from me. Have a great Labor Day and start to the school year.
Deborah Smith
Editor
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SEPTEMBER SWEEPS
We're giving away 2 of our very popular t-shirts for kids this month.
Register to win either the "I Love My Nanny
This Much" t-shirt or the "My Nanny, My Friend" t-shirt. Both shirts
are available in a wide range of colors and sizes. Winners
will get to select the size and color of their choice. Good luck!
http://4EverythingNanny.com/Sweepstakes.htm
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AN EXCERPT FROM HOW TO TALK TO YOUR BABY
by Dorothy P. Dougherty
Communication Puzzlers -
Normal Versus Delayed Language Development
"Between 2 and 3, there is tremendous variability in what's
normal," says Catherine Snow, PhD. Her research revealed that
there are two-year-old children with vocabularies of 2,000 words
and three-year-old children with vocabularies of only 150 words.
To understand development, speech/language professionals study
how and when language skills develop in children. There is not
much variation in the "how" because children tend to develop
language skills in a certain order. For example, they usually
have about 50 single words in their expressive vocabularies
before they begin to put two words together. However, the
"when" - that is, at what age children acquire each language
skill - may vary enormously. Even experts sometimes cannot
agree on what is "normal."
Since many factors can affect language learning, either slowing
it down or enhancing it, children often develop at a slower or
faster rate than what is expected. Because of the enormous
variation in what is considered "normal," children who are not
quite on schedule may not necessarily be delayed, but instead
may be following their own individual timetable. However, a
baby's understanding and expression of the language skills should
be growing and developing on a continuous basis. There is
certainly cause to be concerned if a child suddenly stops
talking or doesn't seem to understand or be learning new words.
It is also important to keep in mind that speech is not the same
as language. A child with a language delay may be able to say
all the speech sounds clearly, but doesn't say many words or
doesn't understand words and phrases, and use them to talk,
but has trouble saying the sounds in the words correctly. Because
people have difficulty understanding this child, they may assume
that she knows less than she really does.
In reality, writes Naomi S. Baron, professor of linguistics
at American University, Washington, DC, a child who has
difficulty with speech may use the same sound to indicate several
different words. For example, she may say "ma" in place of
"milk," "mother," and "mug." She may understand the meanings
of the words "milk," "mother," and "mug," but cannot use her
tongue and lips to form the correct sounds. The listener may
understand anyway, however, because of the child's use of gestures
or the presence of the object to which she is referring (milk,
her mother, or a mug). And, according to Professor Baron, if
this child obviously uses "ma" to mean three different things,
then "ma" counts as three separate words.
To roughly assess your child's language development over the
months, use the questions located on our website as a guide:
http://www.4everythingnanny.com/book_of_the_month_page2.htm
______________________________________________________________
About the Author
Dorothy P. Dougherty, MA, CCC-SP, is a Speech/Language Specialist
who has worked with children and adults in clinical and private
settings. She obtained her bachelor's degree in Speech Pathology
from West Chester University in Pennsylvania in 1978, her master's
degree in Speech Pathology from the College of New Jersey in Trenton
in 1980, and her Certificate of Clinical Competency from the American
Speech-Language-Hearing Association in 1981. In 1990, she cofounded
Atlantic Behavioral Care with her husband, Kevin R. Dougherty, PhD,
to provide consultation, psychological, and speech/language services
to clients ranging from preschoolers to adults. Mrs. Dougherty
resides in New Jersey with her husband and two sons.
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Lavish Kids with Kind Words
Child abuse is a serious social problem. In 1992, more
than 1.7 million children were abused by their parents or
other caregivers, and about 5,000 children died of this
abuse. Most people think of child abuse as something physical,
resulting in severe injuries and death. Yet, there is a
more common and just as serious form of child mistreatment
that occurs without touching the youngster - verbal abuse.
This type of abuse takes many forms: humiliating, berating,
embarrassing, ridiculing, name-calling, criticizing, ignoring,
and other words that frighten a child or otherwise inhibit
healthy development.
Examples of verbal abuse include:
A 10-year old brings home his report card. The parent’s look
at it with disgust. "This is awful! You are the dumbest child
we know. How stupid can one child be? I know you will never
amount to anything."
A mother spots her teenager going out the door. "Where are
you going with your hair looking like that? It is so ugly.
It looks terrible, do something about it. I would not be
caught dead looking like that."
Charles is sending a letter to his grandmother. "Oh Charles,
look at that awful handwriting. Any why can’t you make your
lines straight? And look at all those misspelled words."
A mother is putting food on the table. Her daughter asks to
help. Mom replies, "Oh I don't think so. You are so clumsy.
You are always dropping things."
A father leaves work to watch his son’s Little League game.
The youngster has a chance to win the game in the last
inning but strikes out. Crying, he walks over to his dad.
Frustrated, the father says, "Go home with your mother.
I cannot believe I left work early to be around a loser.
Stop crying - I cannot stand crybabies."
Parents must treat their children with the same kind of
respect that they would give a friend or a stranger.
Remember, children need to feel that they are just as
important as - even more important than - any other person
that their parents care about. No one likes to be ridiculed,
terrorized, or embarrassed. Eventually, children scarred
from verbal abuse become rebellious, disrespectful, unmotivated,
delinquent, and disregard their parents’ values. But the
major effect of psychological abuse is the loss of the child’s
self-esteem and self--confidence.
Self esteem is the way a person feels about themselves
and how much they like themselves. If children have a
strong self-esteem and self-image, they feel worthwhile.
This feeling will in turn influence almost every other
aspect of their lives. Having or not having self-esteem
can mean the difference between a child who feels loved,
valued and optimistic, and a child who has a need to misbehave,
make trouble and feel inadequate.
Self-esteem and self-confidence develop during childhood
through the respect and confidence given to a child by their
parents, teachers, and other adults. A child’s self-confidence
and self-esteem are determined by the amount of positives and
negatives a youngster receives. Therefore, parents have a
clear choice: they can concentrate on their child’s beauty
and specialness, or than can reflect on their child’s flaws
and shortcomings. Praise and flattery boost and nurture a
child’s self-esteem while persistent criticism teaches a
child to be critical while developing a low self-worth.
101 WAYS TO PRAISE A CHILD!
Wow · Way To Go · Super · You’re Special · Outstanding ·
Excellent · Great · Good · Neat · Well Done · Remarkable ·
I Knew You Could Do It · I’m Proud Of You · Fantastic ·
Super Star · Nice Work · Looking Good · You’re On Top Of It ·
Beautiful · Now You’ve Got It · You’re Incredible · Bravo ·
You’re Fantastic · Hurry For You · You’re On Target ·
You’re On Your Way · How Nice · How Smart · Good Job ·
That’s Incredible · Hot Dog · Dynamite · You’re Beautiful ·
You’re Unique · Nothing Can Stop You Now · Good For You ·
I Like You · You’re A Winner · Remarkable Job · Beautiful Work ·
Spectacular · You’re Spectacular · You’re Darling · You’re Precious ·
Great Discovery · You’ve Discovered The Secret · You Figured It Out ·
Fantastic Job · Hip, Hip Hurray · Bingo · Magnificent ·
Marvelous · Terrific · You’re Important · Phenomenal ·
You’re Sensational · Super Work · Creative Job · Super Job ·
Fantastic Job · Exceptional Performance · You’re A Real Trooper ·
You Are Responsible · You Are Exciting · You Learned It Right ·
What An Imagination · What A Good Listener · You Are Fun ·
You’re Growing Up · You Tried Hard · You Care · Beautiful Sharing ·
Outstanding Performance · You’re A Good Friend · I Trust You ·
You’re Important · You Mean A Lot to Me · You Make Me Happy ·
You Belong · You’ve Got A Friend · You Make Me Laugh ·
You Brighten My Day · I Respect You · You Mean The World To Me ·
That’s Correct · You’re A Joy · You’re A Treasure · You’re Wonderful ·
You’re Perfect · Awesome · A+ Job · You’re A-OK · My Buddy ·
You Made My Day · That’s The Best · A Big Hug · A Big Kiss ·
Say I Love You! P.S. Remember, A Smile and a Hug are Worth a 1,000 Words.
Avoid verbal abuse and treat your child with the same kind of
respect you would treat friends or strangers. You can find out
what kind of picture your child has painted for himself by
watching their behavior. If the child feels good about themselves,
they will be friendly, outgoing, and self-confident. They will
not have a need to misbehave or act out in a negative way.
Remember to praise a child's strengths and achievements. Even
though children sometimes appear to dismiss parental comments,
they still need their approval. And a child who has their parents'
approval can accept others' opinions with confidence and grace.
The emotionally healthy child will become an adult who contributes,
who possesses inner strength, who can withstand negative peer
pressure, who is agreeable, and who is ready to face being an adult
with confidence and maturity. Parents should always think about
what they are saying to their children. Stop using words that hurt,
and start using words that help.
This article was provided courtesy of Kidsgrowth.com
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ASK THE EXPERTS Q & A
Q: Our nanny has been with us for 1 1/2 years - since my two
year old was 6 months. We are ending our agreement and
transitioning into an at-home daycare within one week.
Do you have any tips to help make the transition smoother?
A: Thank you for writing. As you are already aware, the two-year-old stage
is a tricky one, developmentally. People usually credit children of this age
with acting out/temper tantrum behavior. However, a child of this age will
often exhibit shy behavior when in a new situation.
To help your little one transition more smoothly, the key is to allow him
to take his time. These tips may prove helpful:
1. Try to resist the urge to make him talk, relate, or play with the children
in the new childcare setting. Instead, let him choose when, how, and with
whom to interact.
2. Try to interpret his feelings, and use words to describe the feelings.
For example, you might say something like, "It feels scary meeting new
people." This will help him know his feelings are OK.
3. Help him feel more secure by telling him where he is going, who he will
see there, etc.
4. Be confident in your decision to change childcare settings.
5. Understand that it is normal for children of this age to need extra time
to absorb the new setting. Children will, therefore, take things slowly.
This may look like laziness, but isn't. The child is actually taking in the
whole experience.
6. Some parents prefer to stay with their children for 15 or 20 minutes while
their children ease into the morning activity. This seems to help the parent
as much as the child. Your childcare provider can help you with this
decision.
7. Remember to tell your child that you are leaving but that you will come
back. Often times, parents think they should just sneak out when the child
isn't looking. This can create fear in the child.
8. Speak to your childcare provider, in advance, to see what other tips she
recommends. Some providers like the new child to bring a comforting item,
from home. Some providers prefer the parent and child visit for short
periods of time, in advance of the "big day."
Good luck!
Sandra
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NannyClassifieds.com Success Story
After about three months, I found a suitable family that I am
working for and it was through NannyClassifieds.com!! I was
working with a few agencies and they were doing a good job,
but the more your name is out there the better. So, after a
few weeks of not much, I began doing on-line searches myself.
I liked NannyClassifieds.com because it was quick, safe and
convenient-making your search as broad or as narrow as you like.
THEY HAVE TONS OF JOBS!! And obviously the ads posted are
needed immediately or close to, so you don't waste your time.
You submit your information (I included my number so if the
family was interested we could talk sooner) and then wait to
hear. Sure enough, and only a few days later I got a call
from the family. And interviewed almost immediately.
I have been working with them now and it is so great.
My advice for other nannies searching: be persistent and
stay strong! Go at it-because once you do find something
it will be worth it.
Good luck! Gretchen
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T-SHIRTS FOR THE NANNY AND KIDS IN YOUR LIFE!
Great gift ideas! Get your Holiday orders in
early to beat the rush.
http://www.4everythingnanny.com/products.htm
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Brighter Vision invites you to try out the LEARNING ADVENTURES
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NANNYPAY 2001
NannyPay® is a sophisticated, yet easy to use Windows®
95/98/NT payroll program for household employers. Using
NannyPay, household employers can calculate all federal
and state withholding taxes for their nanny and other
domestic employees, and print paystubs and liability reports.
Download a FREE 30 Day Demo here:
http://www.4everythingnanny.com/np01.exe
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Have a great Labor Day weekend everyone.
I hope you have enjoyed this month's issue of Nanny Net News.
Please feel free to pass this e-zine along to your friends.
However, we ask that you keep it intact and forward it in its
entirety.
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Copyright - 1999-2001 Parents With Nannies,Inc.
http://www.4EverythingNanny.com
http://www.NannyClassifieds.com
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