---------------------Nanny Net News-----------------------

A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners

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Vol. 4, No. 5              October 2003

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Deborah Smith, Editor

Parents With Nannies, Inc.

Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com

This newsletter is distributed by subscription only.

If you wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions

at the end of this newsletter.

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IN THIS ISSUE

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> A Note from the Editor

> Results from our Poll

> You’ll Never Nanny in this Town Again

> Interview Do’s and Don’ts

> Ask the Experts Q & A’s

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A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

Hello all,

As you probably noticed, you did not receive a newsletter from me last month. And, as many of you know from past experience, there are some months in which my personal life has a way of taking precedence over my "online" duties and responsibilities. I am fortunate that I am able to get away with this (so to speak) and that you loyal subscribers are kind enough to understand.

Last month my 93 year old grandfather passed away. Thankfully, he was a healthy, vibrant man practically until the day he died. He had just recently given up ballroom dancing and golf, if you can believe it. He was surrounded by family and a very kind and sweet caregiver when he departed.

This was my first real experience with an "elder care provider." And I must tell you, I don’t think I could do what they do for all the money in the world. It takes a very special person to enter a family at the final stages of a loved one’s life and she did it with such tenderness and loyalty to my grandfather. It really was touching.

Anna, his caregiver, is from Russia. She left her husband and children back home to come to America to earn money for her children’s education. I asked her at my Grandfather’s funeral how she does it - watch one person after another depart this world? She said with tears in her eyes, that she didn’t know and that it was very hard. I told her my Grandfather was lucky to have had her with him, and we were all lucky to have found such a caring person for him.

So, on behalf of my Grandfather and Anna, I would like to salute all those elder care providers who subscribe to this newsletter. You have my utmost respect and admiration.

Well, we have a great newsletter for you this month. We have an excerpt from Suzanne Hansen’s You’ll Never Nanny in this Town Again. It is getting great reviews from nannies and I can’t wait to get my copy. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to win one. Suzanne has donated a signed copy of her book for our monthly sweepstakes, so don’t forget to enter.

In addition, we have the results from our Poll on who pays nanny taxes and some terrific interview tips for nannies. As always, our Experts tackle some interesting questions from our readers.

I hope you enjoy this month’s issue. Please write to me with your comments, suggestions, and ideas for upcoming newsletters.

Happy Halloween and see you next month.

Deborah Smith
Editor
Nanny Net News

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ENTER TO WIN

A signed copy of You’ll Never Nanny in This Town Again!

The Adventures and Misadventures of a Hollywood Nanny

by Suzanne Hansen http//4nanny.com/sweepstakes.htm

POLL RESULTS

We had 243 responses to our tax poll.

As you will see from the results, it appears that nannies

have a lot of say in the matter of how they are paid.

Q Is Your Nanny Paid on the Books?

33% Yes, by my nanny’s request

20% Yes, because I don’t want to get caught

19% No, the process is too complicated

19% No, by her request

10% Yes and No, a portion is reported

Here are some comments from participants

*"How about "Yes, because it’s the right thing to do, or because it’s the law." Not because I am afraid of getting caught…let’s not assume that we are all trying to be illegal." (Good point)

*"I think that you are doing yourself and your nanny a huge disservice if you don’t pay taxes. You get tax benefits by reporting, and she later will get social security and disability benefits. The process is a little complicated, but certainly no more complicated than raising a child! Do the right thing and pay taxes!"

*"One in four parents will take out taxes." (Our poll shows that a little more than 50% of parents take out taxes.)

 

You’ll Never Nanny in this Town Again

The Adventures and Misadventures of a Hollywood Nanny.

by Suzanne Hansen

(an excerpt)

On those nights, Julia had issued a general invitation for me to eat with her and the kids. She said that on the rare nights when Steven was home for dinners she didn't want me there during their family time. I totally understood, and was glad that they valued their infrequent weeknight dinners together. Most nights, however, the normal routine was for me to sit down with Julia and the children in the family dining room and be served our meal. Maria or Concetta watched the baby in the kitchen and served us. There I was at the "big table" with my friends waiting on me. I never did feel comfortable with the whole scene. In between courses, Maria or Concetta would go back to the kitchen and wait to be summoned by the buzzer that was on top of the lazy Susan in the middle of the table. The buzzer was Joshua's favorite toy and torture device.

Buzzzzzz! "I want ketchup!"

Buzzzzzz! "Take away this soup! I hate this soup!"

Buzzzzzz! "Amanda touched my fork. Idiot! Get me a new fork!"

Buzzzzzz! "That's all."

Sometimes he'd buzz it just for the buzz. At least this was what happened when the buzzer was in its place at the center of the table. There were many times when it seemed to be suspiciously missing.

Dinner was almost always an active time for me. I'd pop out of my chair to intercept Josh's hand on its way to the buzzer and get up to retrieve the ketchup myself, reminding him that he needed to be considerate of the people who were taking care of him. I wanted Julia to correct his behavior, but instead it felt like she wanted to correct mine. We always managed to make small talk, but I definitely felt on duty rather than at home. Sometimes Julia was friendly and almost at ease, but more often her guard was up, and so was mine. It was a priority for her to eat dinner with her children, but she didn't seem to feel comfortable handling it on her own. Although she was an accomplished gourmet chef in her own right, with expertise in orchestrating dinners for crowds of Hollywood stars, she seemed overwhelmed by the complexities of managing her own little clan at mealtime without a staff.

About the Author Suzanne Hansen received her Bachelor of Science

in Nursing from Linfield College, after she was a Nanny in Southern California.

She was a high-risk labor and delivery nurse, lactation consultant and childbirth

educator for many years. She is now a "Stay at Home AND Work Mommy."

She lives with her husband and two children in Portland, Oregon.

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Interview Do’s and Don’ts

These interview tips were originally written for professionals in the IT and Ecommerce industry by a company in the UK who specializes in placements. I thought many of the tips very helpful and relevant to any interview. I hope you do also. I have included the links below to further interviewing tips and info.

Interview Do's

Presentation

Look your smartest and show your most professional side during the interview. An employer is more likely to hire someone who is well presented and who will therefore best represent them. Punctuality

Arrive on time.

Obtain clear directions for the location of the interview and plan your journey, allowing plenty of time to arrive. If you are unavoidably delayed, notify the employer immediately giving the reason and your estimated time of arrival.

During the interview

Introduce yourself courteously.

Express yourself clearly.

Show tact, manners, courtesy, and maturity at every opportunity.

Be confident and maintain poise.

The ability to handle your nerves during the interview will come across as confidence in your ability to handle the job.

Be prepared to show how your experience would benefit the employer.

Ask questions concerning the children and the position for which you are being interviewed for. An interviewer will be impressed by an eager and inquisitive mind. You will also be able to demonstrate that you can contribute to the position if you show an interest.

Take time to think and construct your answers to questions to avoid rushing into a vague and senseless reply.

Demonstrate that you are sufficiently motivated to get the job done well and that you will fit in with the employer's organizational structure and the team in which you will work.

Anticipate questions you’re likely to be asked and have answers prepared in advance. Uncertainty and disorganization show the interviewer that you are unprepared and unclear what your goals are.

Be assertive without being aggressive.

Thank the interviewer.

Interview Don'ts

Be late for the interview. Tardiness is a sign of irresponsibility or disorganization and the employer could take it as what to expect in the future.

Arrive unprepared for the interview.

Say unfavorable things about previous employers.

Make excuses for failings.

Give vague responses to questions.

Show lack of career planning - no goals or purpose could convey the impression you're merely shopping around or only want the job for a short time.

Overemphasize money. Your interviewing goal is to sell yourself to the interviewer and to get an offer of employment. Salary discussion is secondary.

Refuse to travel and/or relocate. Always be open for discussion concerning travel and relocation. The employer may be talking about future plans, not present.

Show any reservations you may have about the role/employer. You can always turn down second interviews and job offers after you have had time to appraise your concerns in the cold light of day.

Demonstrate low moral standards.

Express strong prejudices or any personal intolerance.

Leave your mobile phone on during the interview.

Body Language Do's

Ensure a firm handshake. A firm handshake shows confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Walk slowly, deliberately, and tall upon entering the room.

Maintain a high level of eye contact throughout. Remember not to be seen to be staring. Look away occasionally, looking confidently and calmly to the right or left; never look down.

Listen.

Be alert and enthusiastic - it's often a deciding factor in employing candidates. An indifferent attitude is instantly recognized as "I don't care if I get this job." Smile, nod, and give non-verbal feedback to the interviewer.

Do not hurry any movement.

Relax with every breath.

Body Language Don'ts

Have a poor/limp handshake. Display laziness. Be aggressive or act in a superior, conceited or overbearing way.

Have a poor voice, diction or grammar. Look distracted, look down or avoid eye contact.

Talk too much.

Answer questions as asked, without being abrupt; expound only to the point that the interviewer has a clear understanding of what you mean.

Lose concentration or attention.

Your Questions

The interview is a two-way process. You need to interview the employer to find out if the employer and the position are right for you. Prepare the questions that you want answered and ask them. If you ask open questions, e.g. those beginning 'What?', 'How?', 'Where?', 'Who?' or 'Will?' it will encourage your interviewer to talk and provide you with additional information.

Consider some of the following What will my responsibilities be?

How has the position become vacant?

How will you assess my performance?

How soon will you decide on the appointment?

More interview questions for nannies http//www.nannyassociation.com/questions.html

GAP Placements in the UK.

http//www.gapplacements.co.uk/html/interview_tips.htm

 

Ask the Experts

Q. I was curious to know how to handle this issue of paying a nanny when I don't use her services, but couldn't find much information about it on the web. Most sites just state that a nanny typically gets two weeks of paid vacation. That left me hanging because I wasn't sure if it was necessary to pay my nanny while I am on vacation. I agreed to give her two weeks to take at her discretion, but I really can't afford to pay her for four weeks of vacation a year. Would it be fair to count some of my vacation days that I comp her towards her total? I didn't think it was necessary for me to have to pay her while I vacation.

Thanks for your help!

A Dear How Do I Handle

If it is possible I would discuss with your nanny the fact that you didn't think ahead when you signed the work agreement. Therefore just realized that you should have stipulated that she take her vacations at the same time you take yours.

It is the employer's responsibility to outline the terms of the job and if you were not thorough enough you can't really blame your employee. Nannies, like anyone else in the workforce depend on their weekly paycheck.

It is implied that your nanny will get a regular paycheck unless it is specifically stipulated otherwise in the work agreement. Think of it this way; you are employed I assume. What if your employer mentioned to you that you would not be getting paid because he/she was shutting down the business for two weeks and going away? It is likely that your finances would be negatively impacted. In addition you would likely be angry, any loyalty you had would be seriously diminished and it's a good bet you'd be keeping your eye on the job market to make a move. Again, if you didn't stipulate in the agreement in the beginning that she wouldn't get paid while you are away it would be unfair to pull the proverbial rug out from under her now.

You can make coordinated vacation times a condition of employment for any future work agreements.

Good Luck.

Anne Merchant

Employer/Nanny Expert

Q I am new to professional "nannying". I accepted a position with the understanding that cooking for the entire family and cleaning (a 7000 sq ft home) were "optional" but am now being told that these are part of a nanny's responsibilities! There are 3 children; (the 3 year old is still in diapers). I live in and have a small bedroom but do not have my own bathroom. The family is vegetarian (I am not) so I do not eat many meals with them. I am expected to work 14 - 15 hours a day, 6 days a week; clean the entire house; cook all the meals (I am expected to learn to cook vegetarian meals) and clean up afterward (use of the dishwasher is not allowed); get the children (11 and 5) up for school, take them to school, take them to many scheduled activities; make sure all homework is done and is 100% correct (which often entails doing the work myself to make sure their answers are correct); do all the family wash and ironing; run family errands; have the meal for my day off cooked the day before and ready to reheat ; and teach the 3 year old to read.

I am being paid $350/wk for all of this and have use of the family minivan to take the children wherever they need to go. I have some sort of health insurance but it is not the regular kind - it is one which pays a portion of the cost and I pay the rest. I am to have 2 weeks paid vacation, but not to be taken consecutively. Is this a fair wage and are the expectations really those of a Nanny? I always thought Nannies dealt only with the children and their needs, not general household responsibilities. Help? I'm confused.

A Dear Confused

The short answer to your question is No.

If your employers expect you to clean a 7,000 sq ft house, that is a full time job.

Nanny salaries vary across the country but you are being grossly underpaid for what you are doing. As a general rule nannies take care of children.

Most nannies work an 8-12hour day, not 14-16 and they get 2 days off a week, not 1. You are being paid slave wages. It averages out to about $4 an hour.

Did you get this job through an agency? If not, you might want to go through a reputable agency in the area. You might have a better chance for finding a more realistic position.

You can not do this job for very long before you burn out.

Good Luck

Glenda Propst

Nanny Expert

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