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---------------------Nanny Net News------------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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Vol. 2, No. 10
November 2001
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Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
> A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
> SWEEPSTAKES
> CASUAL REMARKS
> NANNY SUPPORT GROUPS
> ASK THE EXPERTS Q & A
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A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
Hello everyone,
We have two terrific articles for you this month. The always
informative, Elizabeth Pantley, has supplied a wonderful article
on the power of words and how what we say in front of the children
can have a tremendous effect on behavior and self esteem.
The second article on Nanny Support Groups was written by
Stephanie Felzenberg, a professional nanny and editor of the
"Be the Best Nanny" newsletter. Stephanie is generously
donating 3 subscriptions to her newsletter for this
month's sweepstakes so don't forget to register for your chance
to win.
Before I go, I just want to thank all of you who contacted
me with your thoughts and promises of prayers regarding my
illness. All of your positive energy must have done the trick
because I am well on my way to recovery. I am in much less
pain this week and am getting better every day. Thank you all
so much for caring and taking the time to reach out to me with
your support. It really meant a great deal to me and continues
to affirm my belief in humanity.
I hope you all have a safe and healthy Thanksgiving.
Deborah Smith
Editor
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NOVEMBER SWEEPS
Win a free one year subscription to the "Be The Best Nanny"
newsletter. A $24 value. "Let Be The Best Nanny
guide you through the projects and topics that address the many
unique challenges that make you the most important person
the family you work for will ever hire." Enter here:
http://4nanny.com/Sweepstakes.htm
THE WINNERS OF OCTOBER'S SWEEPS
The winners of Pamela Waterman's book The Absolute Best Play Days
are Missy Tupitza of Texas, Robin Lindstrom of New York and
Lisa Grassetti of Massachusetts. Congratulations ladies.
This is a terrific book for childcare providers and parents
who are constantly racking their brains for new activity ideas.
For those of you who may be interested in purchasing this book
as a gift or for yourself follow this link:
http://4everythingnanny.com/books/absolute_best_play_days.htm
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CASUAL REMARKS
An excerpt from:
Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions are
Really Telling Our Children By Elizabeth Pantley,
Contemporary Books, 2001
It's a curious affliction: the tendency to talk about one's
children in the most brutally honest and hurtful ways without
realizing that the cherished subjects of the offensive
comments are listening to every word. Right now, you may be
saying to yourself, "This never happens to me." Perhaps.
Perhaps not. But I think there's a good chance you'll see
yourself in at least one of the following examples.
Unloading a cart full of Cheerios, macaroni-and-cheese and
hot dogs at the grocery store's checkout counter, a harried
mother chats animatedly to the cashier. "… Only one more
week 'til summer vacation, then the kids will be home all day.
I can already hear the bickering and whining! I don't know how
I'll manage to live through the next few months! Want to buy
two kids, cheap?" The cashier laughs and shakes her head, "Oh,
no thanks, I have my own! I know what you mean! I'm already
waiting for next September!" In their supposedly innocent
light-hearted banter, neither one notices the shopper's two
children standing right beside her, listening quietly to
every hurtful word. Neither one notices a pair of small eyes
cast downward just so, or a nervous little cough.
Consider Amir's situation as he walks in the door after another
grueling day of work. His joyful, eager children run for Daddy,
but Mom spies him coming in just before they have their chance
to pounce. And the daily gripe session begins. "I am SO glad
you're home. I need five minutes of peace and quiet. These kids
drove me crazy all day! Abdi and Sheida have been like wild
animals. They were fighting in the living room and knocked over
the potted fern. Aria has been acting like a two-year-old-having
temper tantrums over every little thing. The wash machine is
broken again and I have four stacks of kids' dirty clothes piled
up in the laundry room . . ." Quietly and unnoticed, three
dispirited children fade into the background of the family room
and turn on the TV.
To read more of this excellent article and what changes you can
make follow this link: http://4nanny.com/book_of_the_month.htm
(Excerpted with permission by NTC/Contemporary Publishing Group Inc.
from Hidden Messages - What Our Words and Actions are Really
Telling Our Children by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2001)
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NANNY SUPPORT GROUPS
Coping with the isolation and stress of the job.
Nanny support groups offer friendship, mentoring, a sense of
identity, career credibility and the social opportunities that
nannies deserve. Play groups keep nannies motivated and
creative while working with children.
Working with children all day has child care workers craving
adult interaction. Just like any other career, nannies need
validation and opportunities to openly discuss the day with
their employers but at the same time the children demand the
parents' attention. Therefore, it is helpful to find support
outside of the home in which you work.
To start meeting other nannies, contact your nanny agency.
Most agencies are willing to offer you a voluntary list of
other clients working in your area. You can call the other
nannies who use the same agency to plan social opportunities.
Invite family friends over to visit. Call the local parks and
recreation centers and libraries to find activities for nannies
and charges in your area. Write your own classified advertisement
and place it in the local newspaper stating that you are looking
for other nannies to meet for social opportunities or to have
play groups with.
Michelle LaRowe, the founder and president of a nonprofit nanny
support group called Boston Area Nannies, Inc., explains that
starting a support group requires persistence. She recommends
that nannies first build up a core of three or four nannies
and set up an informal meeting. Contact nanny agencies to
inform their clients about the meetings and hand out flyers,
business cards and host an online discussion group to get started.
The November issue of Be The Best Nanny Monthly Guide contains
a full listing of nanny support and play groups throughout the
nation. To find out more about nanny support and play groups
send your name and mailing address to the following address
for one complimentary issue of:
Be The Best Nanny
PO Box 43477
U Montclair NJ 07043 USA
973-783-3760
BeTheBestNanny@aol.com
Be The Best Nanny is a great resource for nannies who take
pride in creating an environment that encourages a child's
self esteem, imagination and curiosity. Let Be The Best Nanny
guide you through the projects and topics that address the many
unique challenge that make you the most important person that
the family you work for will ever hire. $24 annual subscription.
Stephanie Felzenberg
Executive Editor
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ASK THE EXPERTS Q & A
Q: I live in Iowa and would like to know how much taxes
to take out of my paycheck. How much do the parents
have to pay? Please send me any information you know or
have about this.
A:
Here's a brief education: The family you work for is
required to withhold your payroll taxes. Depending on
your filing status (single, married, children, etc.),
you will have approximately 20% withheld in payroll taxes.
The family you work for also pays employment taxes. Their
portion is approximately 10% of your gross wages. Note
that their taxes are in addition to your gross wages.
A complete understanding of the process requires more
attention than this email provides. We have a complete set
of written materials for nannies and families that explains
the tax process and provides payroll samples for easy
understanding "the dollars". Please feel free to contact
us for additional information.
Stephanie Breedlove
Breedlove & Associates
1-888-BREEDLOVE
Q: We have a three-year old daughter and a three-month old baby boy.
Our daughter was with a nanny we loved for two and a half years,
but we have had to switch nannies. Our daughter was very attatched
to her old nanny, and we are having some transition problems.
Our new nanny seems very good. She is great with the baby,
but her relationship with our daughter is a little rocky.
Our daughter doesn't cry when we leave her with the new nanny
(thankfully), and doesn't act out, but she is very distant toward
the new nanny, preferring to play or read by herself rather than
play with her. We have encouraged the nanny to try a little
harder to engage our daughter in active play, but the nanny
always responds that she doesn't want to force our daughter to
do anything she doesn't want to, which makes sense. But we don't
want our daughter's needs to be ignored. She is a very independent
child, but also generally loves to play, draw, etc. with others.
How long can we expect this cool reception to last, and how hard
should we push our nanny to engage our daughter?
A: Thank you for writing. As you now know, three-year-olds
do have a tough time with transitions. Your daughter is not
only adjusting to a new nanny, but a new sibling.
She has lost her single child status and now must accept
that all her loved ones now also love another. You can expect
her to exhibit a wide range of emotions until she
feels secure with her new place in life.
Many books have been written about how to help children
with these issues. Probably one of the most important
ideas is to set aside some quality time just for the older
child. Parent(s) and nanny will each need to do this.
The bedtime routine is a great time for special mommy-child
or daddy-child time. Nanny can probably spend some
one-on-one with your daughter during one of your son's nap
times. I agree that she should not push your daughter.
Instead, she can simply initiate a quiet activity that
you already know your daughter enjoys or try a totally new
activity to peak her curiosity. When your daughter is ready,
she will join in.
I like to recommend doll play, art activities, and storybook
reading as good bonding activities. The Fischer Price
dollhouse that folds up is a good affordable choice for doll
play. The set comes with family figurines that are scaled to
size. Initially, the dollhouse can just be brought out during
the special nanny-child time.
You might take a trip to the library or bookstore to pick
up some children's books with themes about new siblings.
The librarian or store personnel can help you select
some appropriate titles for a three-year-old's enjoyment.
AND, I just bet your nanny has a lot of good ideas for
developmentally appropriate art fun.
Try to be patient while your daughter finds her new place in life.
You will all be happier for it.
Sandra
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T-SHIRTS FOR THE NANNY AND KIDS IN YOUR LIFE!
Great gift ideas! Get your Holiday orders in
early to beat the rush. We now ship our shirts outside the
US. Email me for details: Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
http://www.4everythingnanny.com/products.htm
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NANNYPAY 2001
NannyPay® is a sophisticated, yet easy to use Windows®
95/98/NT payroll program for household employers. Using
NannyPay, household employers can calculate all federal
and state withholding taxes for their nanny and other
domestic employees, and print paystubs and liability reports.
Download a FREE 30 Day Demo here:
http://www.4everythingnanny.com/np01.exe
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I hope you have enjoyed this month's issue of Nanny Net News.
Please feel free to pass this e-zine along to your friends.
However, we ask that you keep it intact and forward it in its
entirety.
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