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---------------------Nanny Net
News------------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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Vol. 3, No. 7
August 2002
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Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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> A Note from the Editor
> Sweepstakes
>Nanny
– Employer Communication
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A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
Hi Everyone,
Well, summer is coming to a close. One more month
of
scorching temps, sandy floors and sticky kids. Personally,
I am just praying for rain on behalf of my shrinking impatience
and crunchy brown grass. A moment of silence please.
We have a great article for both nanny and employer
on
communication this month written by a nanny with over 15
years of experience. This is
definitely an article worth reading.
Staying in the same vein, our Ask the Experts question
involves
communication between nanny and employer as well.
We have a few announcements for you nannies out there at the
end of our newsletter regarding the upcoming
NAN
conference
as well as the untimely passing of a very beloved nanny and long
time
NAN
member.
Well, the family and I are off for a vacation this
week (although
13 hours in the car with my 15 month old hardly sounds like a
vacation to me.) Fear not, I
am armed with every
Sesame Street
video and munchie known to man kind.
Wish me luck.
Deborah Smith, Editor
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July Sweepstakes Winner
The winner of the Talking
Hands “Time to Sign with Children”
Learning Guide and Time to Sign in Childcare Video is:
Theresa Bascom of Prospect Kentucky.
Congratulations Theresa.
August
Sweeps
Win a Free copy of the 2003 “Look What I Did Today”
Infant/Toddler Journal. Custom
designed for childcare providers
and the busy families they serve, this journal allows childcare
providers an easy way to more effectively communicate the
daily activities of the children in their care. Enter Today:
Enter
here: http://4nanny.com/Sweepstakes.htm
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Nanny
– Employer Communication
Good relationships must have a
foundation. Communication
is the foundation of a good employer/employee relationship.
Communication begins with the first interview, and is an ongoing
process between the nanny and the parents.
During the interview, expectations
of both parties need to be
clearly defined and understood. Guidelines regarding discipline
must be established and agreed upon in the beginning, and they
need to be refined and adjusted as the need arises.
Consistency is crucial
Children need to know they can take
you at your word.
Children need limits. It is important for the nanny and the
parents to present a united front. This means that if one of the
parents has a problem with the way the nanny is disciplining,
they will discuss it in private, not in front of the children.
Communication
must be implemented into the daily schedule.
Some ways to do this:
¨ Notes
¨ Journals,
¨ Conversation,
¨ Phone calls throughout the day.
¨ Short talks (come 10 minutes
early, stay 10 minutes late)
¨ Dinner away from the house
without the children
(this is relaxing, non-threatening, neutral territory.
¨ Family meetings
Things
to Remember:
¨ As nannies especially when we
live in, we have a
tendency to take everything personally.
Try not take
everything personally. Sometimes your employer is in a
bad mood because he/she ( or both) had a bad day, not
because of something you did or did not do.
¨ Sometimes parents don't even
realize that what they
are doing is upsetting us.
¨ Don't assume your employer can
read your mind.
¨ Say the words.
¨ Learn to stand up for yourself.
When you finally have the
opportunity to sit and talk
to the parents about a concern or a problem, here are
some suggestions for making the most of the opportunity.
¨ Be Prepared
¨ Learn to distinguish between what
is important what is
not important.
¨ Take time to prepare an agenda of
what you want to talk about.
¨ Under each item make a list of
the points you want to make.
¨ If you write it down, you will
not forget anything.
¨ The other advantage to writing
things down is that it sends
a very clear message to your employers that this was important
to you and you prepared for it.
¨ Try to balance the negative with
the positive.
¨ Try to create win/win
resolutions.
¨ If you present a problem, offer
some solutions.
¨ Do not place blame.
Keep in mind that if you have a
concern or a problem it
is not going to go away. You must learn to deal with it like
an adult. (isn't that one of the very important character traits
you are trying to teach your charges?)
If you have a difficult time learning how to
communicate
effectively, take an assertiveness training class. It will be
worth the time and money and it will benefit you in every
area of your life for years to come.
Written by Glenda Propst, outgoing Co-President of NAN
Reprinted
with permission from the National Association of Nannies
Ask the Experts
Q & A
Q: I'm
reading the book "Nanny Diaries" right now.
The nanny is always being insulted and questioned.
I have the opposite going on in my home. I have a Nanny in
her mid-40's, 10 years my senior. She is always telling
me what I do wrong with my kids, and giving me unwanted
advice. I trust her with my kids. Even though we do things
differently, I let her do
her things her way when she is here.
But, she constantly comes up with complaints about me. i.e.,
their clothes are stained because I give them watermelon,
she found sand in my son's crib, our electric bill is too high,
she found an old stale bottle of milk and my kids are going
to get sick... you get the picture. I wish I could be more
like
the employer in the book. It's just not my nature.
She's
great with my kids and has been with us since they were
2 weeks old. Should I find somebody else?
A: First,
can you talk to her about how she makes you feel?
I know it is uncomfortable, but she may be willing to
listen
if you tell her that you are really considering finding another
nanny if things don't change. If
you really can't bring yourself
to a face to face discussion, what about a note at the end of
her work week explaining how you feel and that you are unhappy.
You do run the risk of her quitting so don't be without a backup plan.
Even after your talk, you may find that she cannot
change.
Some people are just highly critical.
If you really feel she
does not respect you and you feel uncomfortable around her,
it may be time for a change. Your
little ones are young enough
that they won't have a big separation adjustment.
If you wait
until they are 3 or 4 things will be harder.
And, please know that you are not alone.
I have heard from
many moms who feel judged by there nannies.
If it is getting
to be too much, start looking for a new nanny.
I
hope this helps. Best of
luck. Deborah L. Smith
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