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---------------------Nanny Net News------------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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Vol. 1, No. 5 March 2000
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Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
pwn@home.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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> What's Happening At Parents With Nannies
> An excerpt from this month's featured book,
"Kid Cooperation" by Elizabeth Pantley
> Article: Keeping the Nanny You Find
> Website Spotlight
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Words to live by...
"I believe there are few whose view of life has not been affected by the stern or kindly influences of their early childhood, which threw them in upon
themselves in timidity and reserve, or drew them out in genial confidence and sympathy with their fellow creatures."
Basil W. Maturin
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WHAT'S HAPPENING AT PARENTS WITH NANNIES
THE WINNER OF THE FREE "Nanny Training Program"
is Madonna Nichols of Alabama. Congratulations!
Madonna won a free copy of the entire program,
including the "Your Guide To Being A Great Nanny" training video,
"The Employer's Guide Book," "The Nanny Workbook," and
"The Planning Disk" with all 13 worksheets, procedures and
checklists so she can customize them for her personal use.
A NEW CONTEST FOR MARCH
This month Parents With Nannies is giving away our official
"Nanny Definition" T-shirts to 5 lucky winners. Go to
Insert Link to enter. We also have our next two
designs up for you all to see so go to the gift shop. I'm
really proud of these designs. I think you will be too.
NEW STATE BY STATE CLASSIFIED ADS
This month we surveyed the parents who are using our
free classifieds page to ask them for their suggestions on how
we can improve our website. On the top of everyone's list
was a State by State classifieds section. So, you asked for it,
you got it. If you haven't done so already, follow the link
below and be sure to post your ad. This will be particularly
helpful for those looking for live-out positions or for part-time
positions. In Marchn we will be surveying the nannies on our
site to get their suggestions. If you are a nanny and want
to be included in our survey send me an email at pwn@home.com.
NEW DISCUSSION GROUPS
Now in addition to the Parents With Nannies discussion group,
we have added two new groups to our roster. One list
called AuPair_Families is for parents who are
hosting AuPairs or considering this option. The list is
moderated by Suzan a mom from CT who has just welcomed her second
AuPair into her home. Parents have a lot to learn when entering into
the AuPair world for the first time. Agency fees, long distance
interviewing, and cultural differences are just some of the issues
facing parents when they decide to go the AuPair route. This
forum will provide a unique resource for everyone involved and
I hope you will spread the word to your friends and colleagues
who might be interested.
The second new list to join the Parents With Nannies
family is World Wide Nannies, a "nannies only" list hosted by
Justine Dixon an experienced British nanny working in Hong Kong.
Nannies can discuss all the issues involved in being a
professional nanny and what its like to travel the world
with your employers. To join either list go
here
POLL RESULTS
Well, the results of this month's polls regarding agencies
are in. The response fro our busy Parents was so pathetic that
I'm going to let this poll run another month with the hope
that we'll get a better number of responses.
Our Nannies, on the other hand, showed up in full force to
answer the question "How do you find Nanny Positions?
46% said through Agencies. 25% find them on their
own through classified ads, and 30% find their jobs through
word of mouth. We had 57 responses in all.
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KID COOPERATION by Elizabeth Pantley. Unfortunately, this
excerpt had to be edited quite a bit (I mean chopped) for the
purpose of this newsletter. I have selected one of her recommended
methods for cooperation to expand on. If you like the one
I've chosen, you'll love the rest of her book. This book is
a wonderful tool for nannies and comes recommended by several
professional nannies.
How Can You Get Kids to Do What You Want Them to Do
When You Want Them to Do it
Would you like to know how to get your children to willingly
cooperate? Would you like to eliminate many of your daily
battles? Would it be even better if during the process you
could teach your kids valuable life skills? If you're a parent,
I'm sure your answer is Yes, Yes, and Yes! But before we look
at the positive ways to encourage your children's cooperation,
let's examine the methods parents usually employ.
*Nagging
*Wishing/Hoping
*Pleading/Begging/Whining
*Bribing
*Empty Threats
*Demands
*Expressing Disgust
*Lectures
There are a multitude of ways to encourage your children's
cooperation without having to resort to yelling, bribing,
threatening, and nagging. Let's examine some options that not
only maintain the love in your relationship with your child, but
also result in cooperation while helping children develop
long-term self-discipline and decision-making skills.
*Make a Statement
*Use Grandma's Rule
*Give Clear Instructions
*Give a Choice
*Make it Brief
*Make Something Talk
*5-3-1 Go
*Ask Helpful Questions
*Put it on Paper
*Use Humor
*Use Rules and Routines
Make Something Talk
This tool is worth its weight in gold for the under-five age group.
Pre-schoolers require finesse to gain their cooperation, because
they have not yet reached the age at which they can see and
under-stand the whole picture. Robert Scotellaro is quoted in The
Funny Side of Parenting as saying, "Reasoning with a two-year-old is
about as productive as changing seats on the titanic." (He must
have had a two year old at the time!) You can get arund this frustrating
state of affairs by changing your approach. Making something talk is
one great way to get a young child to listen to you and cooperate.
Let's look at two situations - first, the typical (Titanic) way:
Parent: David! Time to change your diaper.
David: No! (As he runs off)
Parent: Come on, honey. It's time to go, I need to change you.
David: (Giggles and hides behind sofa)
Parent: David. This isn't funny. It's getting late. Come here.
David: (Doesn't hear a word; sits down to do a puzzle)
Parent: David, come here! We need to get ready to go! (Gets up
and approaches David)
David: (Giggles and runs)
Parent: (Picking up David) Now lie here. Stop squirming! Lie still.
Will you please stop this! (As parent turns to pick up a diaper,
a little bara bottom is running in the opposite direction...)
Go Here to See What this Parent could have done
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Author: Elizabeth Pantley is the president of Better Beginnings,
Inc. She teaches parenting classes and give lectures at schools,
churches, community centers, and other family-focused organizations.
Her talks are exciting, informational, and motivating.
Elizabeth is a regular radio show guest, and a contributing writer
to various parenting magazines. She has a parenting feature that
is seen in school newsletters in 28 states. Elizabeth has been
featured in Parenting, American Baby, Good Housekeeping, and
Redbook magazines on parenting issues.
Elizabeth lives in Kirkland, Washington with her husband, their
four children, and Grandma.
This book is available in the Parents With Nannies bookstore.
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Keeping The Nanny You Find
This month I surveyed several nannies who have been at
their current jobs for more than 2 years. I wanted to
know what these nannies attribute to their long lasting
positions. The years served by these nannies range from 2
to 7 years. All had long term work experiences prior to the
position they're in now. Which is a good indicator to parents
obviously, if they've shown commitment in the past, its a
better chance that they will show the same with you.
When asked "What is it about your current work environment that
makes it enjoyable?" The top response from everyone was "respect."
These nannies feel that their employers respect them as professionals.
Their employers ask advice from their nannies, they listen to
their nannies suggestions, and they acknowledge the important role
nanny plays in their child's life.
"One thing that I remember is when I first started and my
employer and I were sitting in the bed with the girls,
they could have not been more than 5 days old and she said,
"You will come first in their lives and we will (the parents)
be second." I knew that the jealousy thing would not be there.
If it was, it would be little and they would be able to deal
with it." Nanny Cindy, San Francisco.
The biggest tip our nannies offer on how to have a good working
relationship is to communicate. If there is a problem do not let
it smolder below the surface until it erupts into a fire that can't
be extinguished. Sit down, away from the children, and talk. Have
a professional meeting. Talk about your goals for the family and how
your nanny can play a big part in them. If you have problems with
the way things are being handled, discuss them. You may discover
as one nanny said, "Sometimes I find that my employer and I are
disagreeing about something, and then we sit down and talk it out,
and I realize that we are just miscommunicating." Another nanny
commented "We work as a team and we talk things out. We never leave
things to notes or voicemail."
There are two feelings our nannies say are very important for
job satisfaction. One is the feeling that they are part of the
family not hired help. The other is the feeling that they
are trusted. One nanny stated, "I am trusted implicitly with
the children and not questioned if I want to take them somewhere
or buy them something." This trust comes with time obviously, but
all of our nannies mention in one way or another that feeling
trusted is imperative to a happy work environment.
And finally, our panel of nannies also advises other nannies
to respect the family's privacy and beliefs. Keep a
log of the hours worked and what you do during the day so your
employers are more aware of all you do. And act like the professional
you are. Keep furthering your education in early childhood, read
books, attend seminars, and network with other nannies.
I think the most interesting point about this whole survey was
that not one nanny mentioned money as her motivation for staying
with a family. Of course, fair compensation is a part of feeling
valued as a professional, but the emotional components
contribute to their happiness.
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WEBSITE SPOTLIGHT
GEBBIE.com
For those of you who are looking for a job or a nanny, how would
you like to read the classified ads in every paper in your state,
or in the country for that matter? Gebbie.com is a terrific
way to contact newspapers online. Originally intended for the
public relations world, job hunters have found it an
invaluable tool. Just go to the site, click to enter, go to
Links to "Daily Newspapers" and then select the state of your
choice. It's that easy.
IRISHECHO.com
Unfortunately, one of the more important newspapers for nanny
classifieds is not listed on Gebbie but you can reach it by
using the above link. They've been having a problem with their
online classifieds this week but hopefully all will be fixed
soon. If you live in the NY,NJ,CT area this paper is a must.
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If you would like to suggest a favorite website to be featured in this
newsletter, please email me at pwn@home.com.
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I hope you have enjoyed this month's issue of Nanny Net News.
HAVE A WONDERFUL ST. PATRICK'S DAY
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Please send comments about this ezine to pwn@home.com
Copyright - 1999 Parents With Nannies,Inc. (www.4nanny.com)
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