PEACEFUL PARENTS,
PEACEFUL KIDS
Practical Ways to Create a
Calm
and Happy Home
by Naomi Drew
Excerpt:
Teach Your Child How to Cool off When Angry
A
chapter on raising peaceful kids wouldn't be complete without
a section on cooling off. Although we'll be dealing with anger
management strategies in depth later in this book, I want to
give you a quick overview now so you'll be able to teach your
children the process of cooling off right away.
We
all get angry. Anger is a normal and natural human emotion.
However, anger can lead to huge problems when we choose to react
to it aggressively. Research has shown that when children are
taught how to cool off and calm down, explosive episodes can
be avoided.
Start
by sitting down with your child at a neutral time when you're
both feeling relaxed. Let your child know that you're going
to help her come up with some constructive things she can do
next time she feels angry. Tell her it's so much easier to solve
problems when we cool off first; then we can sit down and talk
about things calmly. Let your child know you've started using
cooling off strategies in your life, and share some of your
favorite ways of cooling off with her.
Now help your child identify things that help her feel calm
when she is upset or angry, like deep breathing, counting to
ten, going into another room, splashing cold water on her face,
or writing down angry feelings in a journal. Be creative and
don't discount any ideas your child comes up with. Sometimes
unexpected ideas that come from children yield the best solutions.
When
Barbara did this activity with 7-year-old Kim, here's what Kim
came up with, "Hug my teddy bear, drink some apple juice, go
into my room, put on my favorite tape, and 'squoosh" clay real
hard."
So,
the next time Kim got upset, Barbara told her to stop, take
some breaths, then look at her list to see what she could do
to cool off. Kim went into her room, grabbed hold of her clay,
and started rolling it out into a long rope. Before long, she
became calm enough to talk over the problem with her mother.
In the past, Kim would have gotten stuck in a pattern of whining
and nagging instead.
Order
the Book
About
the Author: Naomi Drew is recognized around the world as
one of the first to introduce peacemaking and conflict resolution
into public education. She has specialized in this area for
twenty years, has lectured nationally to parents, educators,
elementary school administrators, and has worked extensively
with children.
Ms. Drew
is the author of two other books, Learning of Peacemaking
and The Peaceful Classroom in Action, which Jonathan
Kozol praised as "gentle, ingenious, and immensely practical."
Hailed as visionary, her books are used internationally by educators
and parents. She has worked in public education for twenty-four
years, and currently heads an advisory panel on conflict resolution
for the New Jersey State Bar Foundation.
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