e
Kid
Cooperation
How to Stop Yelling, Nagging & Pleading and
Get Kids to Cooperate
by Elizabeth Pantley
Unfortunately, this excerpt had to be edited quite a bit (I mean chopped) for the
purpose of this webpage. I have selected just one of her recommended
methods for cooperation to highlight. If you like the one I've chosen, you'll love the rest of her book. This book is
a wonderful tool for nannies as well as parents and comes highly recommended.
How Can You Get Kids to Do What You Want Them to Do
When You Want Them to Do it
Would you like to know how to get your children to willingly
cooperate? Would you like to eliminate many of your daily
battles? Would it be even better if during the process you
could teach your kids valuable life skills? If you're a parent,
I'm sure your answer is Yes, Yes, and Yes! But before we look
at the positive ways to encourage your children's cooperation,
let's examine the methods parents usually employ.
*Nagging
*Wishing/Hoping
*Pleading/Begging/Whining
*Bribing
*Empty Threats
*Demands
*Expressing Disgust
*Lectures
There are a multitude of ways to encourage your children's
cooperation without having to resort to yelling, bribing, threatening, and nagging. Let's examine some options that not
only maintain the love in your relationship with your child, but
also result in cooperation while helping children develop
long-term self-discipline and decision-making skills.
*Make a Statement
*Use Grandma's Rule
*Give Clear Instructions
*Give a Choice
*Make it Brief
*Make Something Talk
*5-3-1 Go
*Ask Helpful Questions
*Put it on Paper
*Use Humor
*Use Rules and Routines
Make Something Talk
This tool is worth its weight in gold for the under-five age group.
Pre-schoolers require finesse to gain their cooperation, because
they have not yet reached the age at which they can see and
understand the whole picture. Robert Scotellaro is quoted in The
Funny Side of Parenting as saying, "Reasoning with a two-year-old is
about as productive as changing seats on the titanic." (He must
have had a two year old at the time!) You can get around this frustrating
state of affairs by changing your approach. Making something talk is
one great way to get a young child to listen to you and cooperate.
Let's look at two situations - first, the typical (Titanic) way:
Parent: David! Time to change your diaper.
David: No! (As he runs off)
Parent: Come on, honey. It's time to go, I need to change you.
David: (Giggles and hides behind sofa)
Parent: David. This isn't funny. It's getting late. Come here.
David: (Doesn't hear a word; sits down to do a puzzle)
Parent: David, come here! We need to get ready to go! (Gets up
and approaches David)
David: (Giggles and runs)
Parent: (Picking up David) Now lie here. Stop squirming! Lie still.
Will you please stop this! (As parent turns to pick up a diaper,
a little bare bottom is running in the opposite direction.)
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Author: Elizabeth Pantley is the president of Better Beginnings,
Inc. She teaches parenting classes and give lectures at schools,
churches, community centers, and other family-focused organizations.
Her talks are exciting, informational, and motivating. Elizabeth is a regular radio show guest, and a contributing writer
to various parenting magazines. She has a parenting feature that
is seen in school newsletters in 28 states. Elizabeth has been
featured in Parenting, American Baby, Good Housekeeping, and
Redbook magazines on parenting issues.
Elizabeth lives in Kirkland, Washington with her husband, their
four children, and Grandma.
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