The Confident Woman    By Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz    Order the Book  "Raising Confident Daughters" Our daughters have many more options and opportunities than we have had. Fortunately, most of the discriminatory laws and some of the negative attitudes about women have changed. Some women have even internalized the "You've come a long way, baby" advertisement and eschew any notions that there is still work to be done. When it comes to our daughters, however, the research says that we haven't come as far as some might think. For example, no matter their particular background, adolescent girls * are still boy-crazy and measure their worth by how popular, attractive, and cool they are, especially to members of the opposite sex. * are still striving for perfection as "the perfectly good girl: someone whom everyone will promote and value and want to be with" * are still losing their "voices" (that is, being and doing for others while sacrificing themselves) as they acquiesce to the norms of Western culture, especially with regard to idealized notions of beauty, body, and romance. We have our confidence work cut out for us because of the continuing subtle and not-so-subtle negative messages our girls receive from home, from the culture at large, from their peers, through rock and rap music, and from magazines, movies, and TV programs. It would be presumptuous of me to try to say in a few words all that could be said about raising confident daughters. That is the subject for another book. But I would like to leave you with a few thoughts about how you can be a positive influence in your daughter's life: BECOME A CONFIDENT WOMAN YOURSELF You can do nothing more significant to inspire, teach, and support your daughter to become a confident woman than to think and act more like one yourself. A mother who has a strong sense of herself, who takes good care of herself, who solves her own problems, who competently handles life's challenges, who chooses to spend time with loving, supportive people, who reads and is well educated, who loves her work and yet takes time for herself, cannot help but influence her daughter in important positive ways. Children learn much less from what we say than from what we do with our lives. Women can't really hope to change the way girls think about themselves until they change the way they live their own lives. MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER A PRIORITY Not just in your mind but by your everyday actions, create the time to make your daughter a top priority in your life. Spend time alone with her, play with her, read to her, take her out to lunch, exercise with her, listen to her; if she needs it, help her with schoolwork, teach her how to do things, and encourage her to plan for college and a career. Don't allow unimportant people and/or events to get in the way.   Page 2                             Order the Book About the Author: Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz holds a master's degree from Stanford University, is an executive coach, and is a practicing psychotherapist.  She is the Chair of the National Advisory Panel for Stanford's Institute for Research on Women and Gender. She is also the author of the best selling book, The Superwoman Syndrome, which coined a term for a generation of women. She lives in La Jolla, California.